90 minutes after being admitted, Luo Xuan passed away after unsuccessful resuscitation at Bed 29, 3rd Floor, Infectious Disease Department, First People's Hospital of Tianmen City, Hubei Province.
Four hours earlier, at 6 AM, she showed signs of shock on her way to the hospital. Her family requested an ambulance from the hospital, but the hospital said they first needed to apply to the community and report to the Tianmen City Epidemic Prevention Command after completing the procedures. The city command would then notify the hospital to send a vehicle. Luo Xuan's family said, "Life is at stake; do we really have to wait for the community to start working to process this?"
Luo Xuan's home is 1.9 kilometers from the First People's Hospital (hereinafter referred to as "People's Hospital"), a 6-minute drive. It took two hours from calling for an ambulance from the People's Hospital to coordinating with her workplace leaders to get a vehicle.
After arriving at the People's Hospital, the doctor looked at the CT scan Luo Xuan had taken the day before, his face tense, and called for a bed over the intercom: "There is a patient in a very dangerous condition; both lungs are completely white."
A day earlier, Luo Xuan had waited in line for 6 hours, was diagnosed with COVID-19, and received a hospitalization notice. However, by 2 AM the next day, there were no available beds at the People's Hospital.
The People's Hospital is the only designated COVID-19 hospital in this county-level city. According to its official website, the hospital ranks among the top ten in comprehensive strength among municipal (county) hospitals nationwide, with a total of 2,000 beds.
The hospitalization notice became a mere piece of paper. At 2 AM, Luo Xuan was advised to return home to the urban area, "The doctor said the beds are tight, and priority is given to patients from towns; the roads are closed, and they can't return tonight." Luo Xuan, who had been a doctor for 13 years in a tertiary hospital and had been named for treatment by city leaders, could not get hospitalized when she was critically ill.
Luo Xuan's mother-in-law had worked her whole life in the hospital, and Luo Xuan's husband also worked there. Luo Xuan's family said they had indeed tried every means but could not get admitted to the People's Hospital.
At 9:50 AM on January 30, Luo Xuan passed away at the age of 38.
On the same day at 2 PM, Luo Xuan's body was cremated at the funeral home, and her family could not accompany her, "Special arrangements were made." Meanwhile, the Tianmen City Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital's Luyu District was vacated, and it became a designated treatment hospital.
That evening at 9 PM, the head of the nursing department, Wang Caifang, received a notification to immediately admit the first batch of infected patients, and subsequently, all 48 were admitted.
But Luo Xuan would not be able to wait.
Around the time of Luo Xuan's death, her parents and parents-in-law fell ill one after another, and the entire family of five was diagnosed. To this day, Luo Xuan's father-in-law is still hospitalized, "He was once full of tubes, receiving oxygen."
Few people knew of her death. After an article titled "Occasionally Cured" was published on February 16, many of her classmates and friends learned that Luo Xuan was no longer here.
It has been 38 days since Luo Xuan left this world, and her name has not appeared on any public list of deceased medical personnel. There are only two posts about Luo Xuan on Sina Weibo, one of which does not mention her name and mistakenly identifies her as a nurse.
Luo Xuan was one of the earliest medical personnel in the country to die due to the pandemic. According to Dingxiang Doctor, before Luo Xuan, the deceased included Liang Wudong, a retired doctor from Hubei Xinhua Hospital, and Jiang Jinbo, head of the AIDS prevention and control department at the Danyu County CDC in Jiangxi Province.
"When the report came out, there were already 27 cases. Is it due to rapid onset or low efficiency? In some places, things are done as if fast-forwarded, while in others, it feels like slow-motion." On January 1, Luo Xuan commented on a news article in her friend circle: "Wuhan Health Commission reports on pneumonia epidemic: No obvious human-to-human transmission has been found."
She had posed questions to us, and now, her death has left us with questions.
"Mom, I really can't hold on anymore."
Luo Xuan's mother-in-law noticed her daughter-in-law was ill on January 17, the day before the Lunar New Year.
With a high fever and cough, Luo Xuan initially did not pay much attention, thinking it was an old ailment. She said she "always has lung problems," coughing for a long time every winter.
Deep winter is the busiest time for their department, and many patients specifically requested Luo Xuan for treatment.
Luo Xuan insisted on going to work despite being ill. According to her father, in the rehabilitation department, she treated over 120 patients in her last few days, "Luo Xuan told her mother-in-law that her nails had become deformed."
On the third day of working while sick, January 19, she had a fever of 39.5 degrees Celsius. Luo Xuan's family said that when she returned home from work, she immediately told her mother-in-law, "Mom, hurry and give me an injection."
Luo Xuan brought back medication prescribed by the emergency department. Her mother-in-law said it was cold medicine, and for a high fever, she needed to get penicillin and do a skin test. Her mother-in-law asked her son to run back to the workplace to get the medicine while she prepared it at home.
Luo Xuan did not get an IV at the hospital but had her mother-in-law give her the injection at home, "She thought there were fewer people at home and wanted to spend more time with the kids. Her mother-in-law had worked as a nurse her whole life, and usually, when her grandson needed an infusion, it was her mother-in-law who did it, so she trusted her." Luo Xuan's family said.
Her mother-in-law advised her to take sick leave the next day, but Luo Xuan refused, "She said there were too many patients relying on her."
"I have had a high fever for three days and still go to work every day; it's tough, life is hard." At 1:05 PM on January 20, Luo Xuan said in a WeChat group with her high school classmates. In front of her classmates, she spoke freely. At that time, classmates scattered across the country were discussing rumors about the Wuhan epidemic and whether to return to Tianmen for the New Year.
One classmate comforted Luo Xuan: "Tianmen is safe, don't worry, you won't get infected."
Luo Xuan replied: "I don't think it's a coronavirus infection... You guys in Wuhan should be careful and drink some antiviral oral solution for prevention."
Tianmen is an important part of the Wuhan metropolitan area, and the fates of the two cities are closely linked. According to Baidu migration data, starting from January 15, Wuhan was the top source of migration to Tianmen, peaking on January 23, the day Wuhan was "locked down"—35% of the total population migrating to Tianmen came from Wuhan.
"On January 20, in Wuhan, I took my child to a tutoring class, but all the tutoring institutions suddenly suspended classes, citing an emergency notice from the municipal education bureau." Luo Xuan's high school deskmate, Zhao Ziye, told "Occasionally Cured" that she began to realize the severity of the Wuhan epidemic.
At that time, Luo Xuan's high school classmate Wang Yuanhong was driving back to Tianmen for the New Year from Shenzhen. He noticed the discussions among classmates and felt a pang of concern when he heard Luo Xuan was still running a fever, but he quickly relaxed again.
Wang Yuanhong regarded the coronavirus as something distant. A classmate in Wuhan, Li Jianguo, joked with him, "Just eat and play; at worst, we can just play mahjong at home during the Spring Festival."
That afternoon, Academician Zhong Nanshan announced at a press conference, "The coronavirus can be transmitted from person to person."
At the Tianmen City Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital, where both Luo Xuan and her husband worked, on January 20, they received the diagnosis information for the first highly suspected patient. At that time, there were still five days until Tianmen City announced its first confirmed cases.
On that day, Tianmen Third People's Hospital held a training meeting for COVID-19 prevention and control, while Tianmen Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital held a special meeting on secondary prevention and control work. "Occasionally Cured" noted that no one in either meeting wore a mask. That day, the comprehensive department of the traditional Chinese medicine hospital held a medical staff training session on COVID-19, and only one out of eleven wore a mask.
The alarm was sounded too late. In the last few days of her practice, Luo Xuan did not realize she needed to wear a mask.
Luo Xuan realized something was wrong on January 21, her last working day before the Spring Festival. After work, she went to the fever clinic at the People's Hospital but only saw one doctor, and after waiting until midnight, she still hadn't been seen.
"Luo Xuan returned home that night at 12 AM; she asked her mother-in-law for an injection, saying, 'Mom, if I get the shot, I might feel a bit better.'" Luo Xuan's family said.
On the first day of the holiday, January 22, Luo Xuan went to the fever clinic at the People's Hospital again, waiting in line from 8 AM to 2 PM. "In such a long line, only two doctors were available at the fever clinic," Luo Xuan's family said. On January 24, Tianmen City announced that the People's Hospital would be a designated hospital for COVID-19.
"Teacher Li, I might have been infected with the coronavirus and need to be isolated; I've been running a fever and am still waiting to see a doctor at the People's Hospital." At 12:10 PM on January 22, while still in line, Luo Xuan sent a WeChat message to her classmate Li Jianguo, "What bad luck! My resistance is getting weaker, especially with the lung issues; I always have problems with my lungs and cough for a long time every year, and this year is particularly severe."
The doctor's diagnosis did not link Luo Xuan's symptoms to the coronavirus, prescribing over 700 yuan worth of medication, "The doctor said there was nothing wrong, just go home and take the medicine, don't overthink it."
Luo Xuan trusted the diagnosis from her colleagues, alleviating her worries about being infected, and followed the doctor's advice from the People's Hospital, taking medication and receiving penicillin injections at home.
But her condition continued to worsen, and Luo Xuan told her mother-in-law, "Mom, I really can't hold on anymore."
"According to the diagnosis standards at that time, since Luo Xuan had not been to Wuhan in the two weeks before her illness, she did not meet the relevant epidemiological history, and there were not enough reagent kits for nucleic acid testing at that time," said Huang Chengli, a doctor at the People's Hospital, to "Occasionally Cured." "Even if she was a suspected patient, we had not received guidelines on how to treat suspected patients. If she had been infected a little later, perhaps the outcome would have been better."
"Later, we found out that Luo Xuan had treated a patient from Wuhan, who was a taxi driver," Luo Xuan's family said.
"There was no good policy planning from above, and our capabilities were limited. Our department received many patients returning from Wuhan, but since there was no official notification that the virus could be transmitted from person to person, we lacked attention. It wasn't until the number of patients increased that we began to take protective measures." Huang Chengli said that since a doctor in the same department had been infected, he was also isolated, and the department was closed.
According to "Occasionally Cured," at least 21 medical staff at the People's Hospital were infected, with the first two nurses confirmed on January 26. After Luo Xuan was confirmed, two nurses and a head nurse who worked with her were also confirmed one after another.
"Every day, we come into contact with so many patients; who knows who might be infected?" At 8:25 AM on January 26, Luo Xuan replied to a classmate's concern, as Zhao Ziye worried she had been in contact with suspected cases.
"Going to the hospital for isolation means being locked in a room, with no medicine, cold and hungry." When Zhao Ziye mentioned "experts suggest home isolation," Luo Xuan replied like this, recalling her experience waiting in line at the People's Hospital.
Zhao Ziye did not expect that this would be the last time Luo Xuan replied to her after 24 years of friendship.
Husband lost his wife, son lost his mother.
"Those nights, she coughed all night, and the whole family found it hard to sleep," Luo Xuan's family said.
On January 29 at 4 PM, Luo Xuan visited the People's Hospital for the third time. At that time, the CT scan showed her lungs were completely white. The doctor issued her a hospitalization notice.
By this time, Luo Xuan was extremely weak; the 200 meters from the fever clinic to the CT room was carried back and forth by her 63-year-old father-in-law and husband. Before leaving, her mother-in-law cooked her favorite dumplings, two plates, but she only ate five.
However, around 2 AM on January 30, Luo Xuan still could not wait for a bed. "The doctor advised that the beds were too tight; since your family is from the urban area, it's better to go home and let the bed be given to those from the towns who can't return home due to the lockdown," said Luo Xuan's mother-in-law's friend, Feng Ruoqin, to "Occasionally Cured."
"Although her mother-in-law had worked her whole life at the traditional Chinese medicine hospital, and both she and her husband worked there, they truly tried every means but could not get admitted to the People's Hospital," Luo Xuan's family said.
"Our hospital has 2,000 beds, and more than half are used to treat COVID-19 patients." On February 8, Huang Chengli, a doctor at the People's Hospital, told "Occasionally Cured," "Some patients were confirmed but had no beds, so they had to be isolated in requisitioned hotels."
Luo Xuan had to go home. "When she got up at night, her mother-in-law heard Luo Xuan coughing continuously," Luo Xuan's family recalled the situation at 4 AM on January 30.
Outside was the darkness before dawn, and her mother-in-law asked Luo Xuan, "Baby, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Luo Xuan replied.
Still not reassured, her mother-in-law decided to go to the People's Hospital again to see if there were any beds available, even though just three hours earlier, the answer had been negative.
At this point, Luo Xuan was already too weak to bend over, and her 65-year-old mother-in-law squatted down to help her put on socks. When they went downstairs, it was 6:10 AM; according to the original plan, Luo Xuan's husband was to drive her on an electric scooter.
As they helped Luo Xuan onto the back seat of the scooter, an accident occurred; she suddenly had difficulty breathing and fainted.
Faced with her unconscious daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law did not panic. She sat on the ground holding her daughter-in-law, asking Luo Xuan's husband to call for an ambulance.
"The People's Hospital said they couldn't send a car directly. They had to apply to the community first, complete the procedures, and then report to the Tianmen City Epidemic Prevention Command, which would notify the hospital to send a vehicle," Luo Xuan's family recalled, "It was 6 AM; life is at stake; do we really have to wait for the community to start working to process this?"
Repeatedly dialing the phone resulted in similar answers: follow the procedures, follow the procedures, still follow the procedures.
It was not yet dawn, and the unconscious Luo Xuan and her anxious family cast long shadows on the ground.
By 7 AM, after learning of the situation, the president of the Tianmen Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital dispatched an ambulance. However, since the hospital had not previously been designated for fever patients, the ambulance was not equipped with protective clothing and had not been disinfected.
Once these preparations were completed, the ambulance was dispatched. By the time it arrived, nearly two hours had passed since the first call for an ambulance, "If the People's Hospital's ambulance had arrived earlier, would there have been a greater chance of saving her?" Luo Xuan's family asked.
At 8:01 AM, Luo Xuan was taken to the People's Hospital, 1.9 kilometers away. "Her mother-in-law said she saw a line of empty ambulances parked at the entrance of the People's Hospital."
The doctor looked at the CT scan Luo Xuan had taken the day before, his face tense, and immediately called for a bed over the intercom, "There is a patient in a very dangerous condition; both lungs are completely white, filled with water."
The head nurse reported that there was an empty bed, Bed 29, 3rd Floor, Infectious Disease Department. Her mother-in-law and husband pushed Luo Xuan upstairs; she had rushed through the hospital corridors countless times with patients, but this time, the patient on the stretcher was her daughter-in-law.
At 8:20 AM, Luo Xuan was pushed into the ward for emergency treatment, while her family was blocked outside, anxiously waiting with hope, as they finally managed to get her hospitalized.
However, their hope did not last long. At 9:50 AM, the doctor came out, "I'm very sorry; we did our best..."
Luo Xuan's mother-in-law collapsed on the ground. The husband lost his wife, the son lost his mother, and the mother-in-law lost her daughter-in-law.
Luo Xuan's family of three.
Image source: Provided by the interviewee.
"Luo Xuan's mother-in-law never complained about the hospital. She just said, 'My baby was unlucky, my baby wasted away, my baby just left like that.'" Feng Ruoqin said that Luo Xuan's mother-in-law was very rational and always advised Luo Xuan not to hold grudges against patients and to understand them.
Classmates in Wuhan were the first to realize the severity of the epidemic; they worried for themselves and for Luo Xuan in Tianmen. Li Jianguo called Luo Xuan four or five times, but no one answered; only the ringtone played, "During the critical period of fighting the epidemic..."
When he found the president of the traditional Chinese medicine hospital, he was told that Luo Xuan had passed away—Luo Xuan's last contact with Li Jianguo was asking him to do a favor for the president.
Zhao Ziye repeatedly tried to contact Luo Xuan, but there was no response on WeChat; she comforted herself that her sister was busy saving patients on the front lines and had no time to reply.
"In Wuhan, I was coughing for several days, feeling anxious every day, but I never thought to call her." Zhao Ziye regretted her carelessness. By the time she tried to call Luo Xuan, the prompt said the phone was off due to low battery.
Zhao Ziye began to panic, calling Luo Xuan's parents' house, but no one answered. "At that moment, my hands were trembling, and I frantically dialed, only to hear the cold prompt. What I feared came true."
From the night Luo Xuan passed away until the seventh day after her death, Wang Yuanhong wrote a memorial for Luo Xuan, totaling 2,236 words. "Those nights, after the family fell asleep, I was alone in the study writing, and the more I wrote, the more I felt a sense of empathy for Luo Xuan's death."
On February 7, when Zhao Ziye asked about Luo Xuan's news in the class group, Li Jianguo initially wanted to inform everyone of Luo Xuan's death. He sent the message but then chose to retract it, wanting to leave everyone with a glimmer of hope. Subsequently, some classmates said, "It will be fine; young people have strong immunity; the current severe cases are all elderly."
It wasn't until the article "Occasionally Cured" was published on February 16 that most classmates learned of Luo Xuan's death. When they revisited their past chats with Luo Xuan, the optimism they once shared turned into regret.
A family surrounded by the epidemic.
Every year during the New Year's Eve dinner, Luo Xuan's family would eat at a restaurant, with her parents and parents-in-law taking turns treating. The sudden epidemic forced Luo Xuan's family to cancel this year's gathering, unaware that it would be difficult for the family to reunite again.
Two days before Luo Xuan's death, on January 28, her father was diagnosed at the People's Hospital and was arranged to be hospitalized at the Maternal and Child Health Hospital.
In conversations with the epidemiological history investigators from the CDC, Luo Xuan's father could not confirm the source of his infection. On January 16, he returned to Hubei from another province and transferred at Wuhan Railway Station, then took a train to a certain place in Hubei.
On January 20, while in Hubei, he attended a friend's banquet, where a local leader was present; on the 21st, he began to show symptoms; on the 22nd, he returned to Tianmen, having heard that his daughter was also ill, and he visited Luo Xuan's house.
After being hospitalized on the 28th, he received a notification from the CDC that the leader he had dined with had been confirmed, and it turned out that the leader's wife and 13 relatives had traveled to Wuhan for a visit in mid-January. All 13 were infected without exception.
As close contacts of a confirmed patient, Luo Xuan's family was not immediately isolated. On January 26, Luo Xuan's son had a fever; on the 27th, Luo Xuan's mother-in-law had a fever, and on the day Luo Xuan passed away, her mother-in-law's condition worsened, experiencing difficulty breathing.
The day after Luo Xuan's death, on January 31, concerned about his grandson's infection, Luo Xuan's father called his in-laws from his hospital bed, requesting the whole family to get tested. That afternoon, Luo Xuan's parents-in-law, husband, and son went to Tianmen Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital for testing. Luo Xuan's mother-in-law was confirmed and hospitalized. On February 1, Luo Xuan's mother was also confirmed and hospitalized. At 2 AM that day, Luo Xuan's father's condition worsened, and he was transferred from the Maternal and Child Health Hospital to the People's Hospital.
"After my mother-in-law was hospitalized, I was worried; there were only three men left at home. Who would cook? Usually, my mother-in-law took care of them. Until February 7, when they were moved to a hotel for isolation by the community, we all breathed a sigh of relief; the government took over, and they had a place to stay," Feng Ruoqin said.
"Uncle, Grandpa has a fever of 38.5 degrees." On the second day of isolation, February 8, Luo Xuan's 10-year-old son called Luo Xuan's younger brother, and soon after, the family took Luo Xuan's father-in-law to the hospital.
That day, her father-in-law was confirmed, becoming the fifth confirmed patient in the family. Previously, her 63-year-old father-in-law had carried his daughter-in-law to see the doctor multiple times. After being hospitalized, he experienced difficulty breathing and was placed on a ventilator, with tubes all over his body.
"If you want to live, be stronger," Luo Xuan's mother-in-law told her husband. At this point, all four elderly family members were hospitalized in different hospitals, and the family could only communicate by phone.
Tianmen City Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital provided a lot of care for the family. On February 10, Luo Xuan's husband and son were arranged for isolation at the hospital. On the day they arrived, the hospital president and secretary personally welcomed and arranged for them, "The leaders said, 'Your family has paid too heavy a price.'"
Luo Xuan's son is in the fourth grade of elementary school and is in a key class. In the January final exam, he scored 99 in math and 96 in English. Song Jiayi remembers that Luo Xuan's son often helped his mother walk, showing maturity.
Luo Xuan's father learned that the leader he had dined with and his mother had passed away. On February 16, both Luo Xuan's father and mother were discharged. According to official reports from Tianmen, on that day, there were 12 new discharges in the city, with a cumulative total of 39.
On February 27, Luo Xuan's mother-in-law also recovered and was discharged, then isolated in a hotel for 14 days.
Now, Luo Xuan's husband and son are still in isolation at the traditional Chinese medicine hospital. The hospital contacted the school to send new textbooks to Luo Xuan's son in the ward and arranged for someone to guide him in online classes. "The hospital leaders said that if the mother-in-law goes home and someone cooks, then her son and grandson can return home," Feng Ruoqin said.
Luo Xuan's departure has made this family incomplete. There had been reports that "Luo Xuan felt that it was better to stay at home than to be hospitalized, just taking medicine and not getting injections. At that time, the official propaganda suggested that mild cases should isolate at home. Her parents-in-law were also quite strong-willed and forced her to be discharged."
Many of Luo Xuan's relatives and colleagues confirmed to "Occasionally Cured" that Luo Xuan had not been hospitalized before January 30, nor was there any so-called "pressure from her parents-in-law to discharge her."
In the eyes of others, Luo Xuan had a good relationship with her mother-in-law. "Luo Xuan's mother-in-law always referred to her as 'Sister Xuan,' as if they were close friends," Feng Ruoqin said.
This daughter-in-law was chosen by Luo Xuan's mother-in-law herself. At that time, while still working at the traditional Chinese medicine hospital, her mother-in-law approached Luo Xuan, clearly expressing her desire to introduce Luo Xuan to her son.
Marriage, having children, buying a new house, renovating, and repaying the mortgage; although life was tight, the family had hope. Luo Xuan once bought her mother-in-law a new iPhone, which her mother-in-law still remembers clearly, "It was bought on May 18, 2018."
Her mother-in-law was very touched, knowing that it was equivalent to a month's salary for her daughter-in-law. Every Mother's Day, birthday, and other occasions, Luo Xuan would prepare a gift for her mother-in-law. The watch her mother-in-law wears now was bought by her daughter-in-law, as well as summer dresses and winter down jackets.
Her mother-in-law, who usually hesitated to spend money on mobile data, was very willing to spend on the family's meals. Luo Xuan's favorite dumplings were made in various styles by her mother-in-law. "After retiring, she thought about learning to cook. I went to her house to teach her how to make dumplings twice. For dishes she didn't know how to make, she would watch videos on her phone to learn. She was always thinking about how to take good care of the family," Feng Ruoqin said.
Her mother-in-law was the class monitor when she was in school, went to the countryside as a youth, and was selected to study at a medical school based on her performance as a worker-farmer-soldier student. After working in the hospital, she had acted heroically, rescuing people severely injured in car accidents. After retiring, she didn't play mahjong or dance in the square; she usually bought groceries, cooked, and picked up her grandson, ensuring that Luo Xuan had hot meals waiting for her when she got home from work.
After this incident, Luo Xuan's mother-in-law lost over ten pounds, and her hair turned completely white. "On the day Luo Xuan left, she called her niece, crying and saying, 'My baby is gone,' repeating this over and over," Feng Ruoqin said.
Spreading joy to others.
The laughter and tears of the past have become history, and the delayed news of Luo Xuan's death has plunged her classmates into memories.
In a class of 40, there were three polio patients, and Luo Xuan was one of them. "There was a boy in our class who had polio in both legs; for three years of high school, he was carried by his classmates," Wang Yuanhong said. He and Luo Xuan attended Tianmen Jianling Middle School, where their class (Class 5) was the only key class in the entire grade.
Luo Xuan was born in the countryside in 1981. Her parents graduated from a normal university that year and were assigned to teach high school in a town. In elementary school, she moved to the city with her father due to a job transfer.
"Our generation suffered quite a bit because the sugar cube vaccine was not yet widespread," Wang Yuanhong said. He also had polio but had the mildest symptoms due to timely treatment.
The "sugar cube" Wang Yuanhong referred to is the oral polio vaccine. In 1990, China began implementing a plan to eliminate poliomyelitis, and taking the "mysterious sugar cube" hidden in thermos bottles became a childhood memory for a generation. In 2000, China announced it had become a polio-free country.
"On the first day of high school, I saw a girl limping out of the classroom, humming a song. I was amazed that although she walked inconveniently, she could get into the most difficult key class; she must have a lot of perseverance. What surprised me even more was her cheerful singing; I thought, what an optimistic and sunny girl," recalled Luo Xuan's classmate Zhang Huirong to "Occasionally Cured."
Shared suffering allowed Wang Yuanhong to understand Luo Xuan better, "We both have strong self-esteem and are sensitive, caring about others' opinions. No matter how sunny our appearance is, we are still quite aware of our illnesses. We wouldn't say it out loud, nor would we express mutual sympathy; there was a tacit understanding between us."
Both Wang Yuanhong and Luo Xuan were determined to prove themselves, "Many people might be worn down by busy studies, while we were supported by our willpower."
Tianmen has long been known as the "hometown of top scholars," and Jianling High School ranks among the best in Tianmen. In the only key class, students competed fiercely for time, and Luo Xuan was one of the earliest to arrive at school.
At that time, the classroom key was in the class monitor's hands, but some students often arrived earlier than the monitor. Wang Yuanhong remembers that in the early morning, under the decades-old sycamore tree at the classroom door, he would always see Luo Xuan waiting with her bicycle, dressed in a long skirt, standing gracefully.
"On one hand, I felt she had a certain charm; on the other hand, I felt she needed protection." Wang Yuanhong recalled that Luo Xuan always wore long skirts that reached her feet, which was both convenient for her movement and reflected her love for beauty.
"Among our classmates born in those years, many had polio, and everyone was quite accepting; there was little discrimination," Song Jiayi said. She always regarded Luo Xuan as a normal person and wouldn't deliberately help her, "That wasn't when she truly needed help."
In high school, there was a time when Luo Xuan came to her house to play. There was a slope, and Luo Xuan held her knee, moving slowly and unable to climb. Song Jiayi helped her up the slope. When someone passed by and stopped to look, "I sensed Luo Xuan's embarrassment."
"Once during the school's New Year's performance, I was the host. After announcing the program, I saw a girl limping but walking up to the stage with great ease, singing 'Meeting in 98' with perfect control of high and low notes, full of emotion, and the audience erupted in applause several times. She left a particularly vibrant and infectious impression on me," said Luo Xuan's junior, Ye Danyan, to "Occasionally Cured." This was her only interaction with Luo Xuan, and even after 22 years, her memory remains vivid.
Being good at singing was almost everyone's first impression of Luo Xuan. "She was recognized as the strong singer in the class, especially with the song 'Qingzang Plateau,' where she sang calmly, sincerely, and passionately," Wang Yuanhong said. "She didn't have the arrogance of city kids. She didn't stand out because of her artistic talents; she gave off a very approachable vibe."
Many classmates mentioned that during breaks, Luo Xuan liked to gather everyone to sing together.
"Come with me, we'll set off at dawn; the dream has awakened, and the heart won't be afraid..." "Happy Home" was one of her most frequently sung songs. Zhang Huirong said it became one of the warmest and most heartfelt memories of her high school life.
Songs are the voice of the heart. In the eyes of her classmates, she enjoyed happiness so much. "When she sang, she had a star-like aura; she could spread joy to others. Even my introverted personality gradually became more cheerful because of her," Zhao Ziye said.
At that time, they were close friends, and every evening after study sessions, they would ride bikes home together, chatting, singing, and laughing along the way. That was Zhao Ziye's most relaxed memory during her senior year.
Luo Xuan's parents both worked in music education and were proficient in the flute, erhu, and accordion. Ye Danyan said Luo Xuan's father was the kind of person who would sing loudly and happily when he felt like it.
"When Luo Xuan was in elementary school, I taught her to practice the huqin. She could only sit still for a while before getting restless. Later, I found out she preferred vocal music." Luo Xuan's father had high expectations for his daughter and nurtured her interests from a young age.
"Sleeping in, singing, making friends, playing cards," were the hobbies Luo Xuan wrote in the graduation album of Song Jiayi. Luo Xuan also said, "The first time I got to know you was because we several funny stars were together for a late-night snack." Song Jiayi retrieved this cherished album from 21 years ago for "Occasionally Cured."
Luo Xuan's father said that in her second year of high school, they took her to Wuhan for two major surgeries, which cost a lot, but her mobility improved.
However, obstacles still existed. When applying for college entrance exams, due to her physical condition, she couldn't attend many schools or choose many majors. Luo Xuan's father suggested two paths for her: accounting or medicine, as both professions could help her avoid issues with her legs.
Song Jiayi remembers that when Luo Xuan first started college, she wrote her a letter expressing her anxiety about being away from home and her discomfort with strangers, "She didn't want others to look at her with strange eyes."
The inferiority complex that accompanied her illness was always carefully hidden, only detectable by her closest friends.
In college, there was a male classmate who often helped Luo Xuan. In a letter to Song Jiayi, Luo Xuan listed everything the boy had done for her, saying he was excellent and had a good personality, and there were no issues in their interactions. But when it came to revealing this ambiguous relationship, "she still didn't have much courage."
Song Jiayi said, "Actually, she was quite moved, but she said she didn't know how to express it. I still keep that letter; she underlined that part and emphasized, 'You know what I'm worried about.'"
"Like a sister."
Luo Xuan scored 518 points on the college entrance exam and entered Hubei University of Traditional Chinese Medicine in September 1999. "Even to this day, all of Luo Xuan's various passwords are related to this score."
She was proud of her independence, even though her family conditions were not good, "It cost a lot to treat her, and during college, they gave her a living allowance of two to three hundred yuan a month." Luo Xuan's father still remembers that when he visited his daughter at college, he treated all eight roommates to a meal, and their favorite dish was fish-flavored shredded pork, which they finished completely.
In college, Luo Xuan studied under one of the first batch of traditional Chinese medicine experts, Tian Yumei, "I copied three large notebooks of prescriptions." After graduating with her bachelor's degree, Luo Xuan chose to pursue a master's degree in "integrated traditional Chinese and Western medicine."
"Our classmates have developed their careers well; many are in Shenzhen, and only two have returned to Tianmen," Li Jianguo said. At that time, with Luo Xuan's master's degree, she could work in many places. Luo Xuan once told her that her parents were not in good health, and she wanted to return to Tianmen to take care of them.
After obtaining her master's degree, Luo Xuan joined Tianmen Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital in 2007. Initially assigned to the internal medicine department, she trained for six months in acupuncture in 2008. After completing her training, she transferred to the rehabilitation department. In 2015, the hospital was approved to become the second tertiary hospital in Tianmen.
Luo Xuan quickly stood out. Luo Xuan's father said that local city leaders had visited the traditional Chinese medicine hospital, and the hospital recommended Luo Xuan to treat the city leaders for a week.
Li Hanzhao, a Tianmen native who opened an electronics company in Shenzhen, felt sentimental when he saw the article from "Occasionally Cured." He had been hospitalized for a lumbar disc herniation and, although he hadn't been in contact with Luo Xuan for 11 years, he clearly remembered the day he met her.
On July 22, 2009, China experienced a total solar eclipse that occurred once every 500 years, lasting over six minutes.
"I saw Dr. Luo looking out the window with two pairs of sunglasses, so I curiously leaned over to see. She gave me one of the sunglasses, smiling warmly as she did," Li Hanzhao said. Later, during his hospitalization, this doctor, who was three years older than him, left him with an impression of "like a sister."
"Those who remember will surely echo." Wang Yuanhong's understanding of this phrase comes from a medical experience. In 2014, when his sister had discomfort in her neck, he thought of his classmate in the rehabilitation department.
After graduation, they had no private contact until he called Luo Xuan for the first time, unexpectedly receiving a warm response. She personally helped him with everything from registration to treatment for his sister. This warmed Wang Yuanhong's heart, who was far away in Shenzhen.
Since December 2018, when the rehabilitation department moved to the Luyu District of Tianmen Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital, Luo Xuan's commute became longer, and her patient load increased. "She did 80% of the work in the department," a colleague of Luo Xuan told "Occasionally Cured." "It was common for her to stay late; even if patients arrived at 11:20 AM, she never refused to treat them, which would take over half an hour."
No more gatherings.
Young Luo Xuan left behind too many unfinished matters.
"She would ask me what life in big cities was like. I felt she longed for the outside world," said Song Jiayi, who settled in Shanghai.
Her mother-in-law had encouraged Luo Xuan to continue her studies and to be ambitious, saying, "Focus on your work; you don't need to worry about household chores."
"I had thought about having her open a clinic in the future," Luo Xuan's father said.
"Life and death are determined by fate; wealth and nobility are in the hands of heaven. Those who should die cannot live, and those who should live will not die." On January 1, Luo Xuan posted a status in her friend circle, commenting on a news article: "Wuhan Health Commission reports on pneumonia epidemic: No obvious human-to-human transmission has been found."
Luo Xuan's friend circle.
Image source: Screenshot from Luo Xuan's friend circle.
Luo Xuan also posted some comments on social phenomena and international politics in her friend circle. She did not agree with those who thought "only America is good," and she firmly opposed "domestic violence," questioning, "Why do they choose to endure while facing unfair treatment in their families and society?"
"Humans are emotional animals; without emotions, living has little meaning," Wang Yuanhong said. After graduation, he and Luo Xuan never met again. The Year of the Pig marked their 20th high school reunion, and he had planned to gather with classmates returning to Tianmen for the New Year.
Luo Xuan's sudden departure, the city's lockdown, and the prohibition of gatherings... Whether with classmates or family, that winter, it became difficult to reunite.
"The work injury recognition has been approved, but the one-time death compensation has not yet been received." Luo Xuan's family revealed to "Occasionally Cured" that currently, two insurance companies are willing to pay compensation amounts of 210,000 yuan and 500,000 yuan, and the relevant materials have been submitted by Tianmen Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital to the Tianmen Health Commission and are still being processed.
"We believe in the organization." Luo Xuan's parents, parents-in-law, and husband all work within the system.
(Except for Li Jianguo and Zhang Huirong, all interviewees are pseudonyms.)